Wherever you go, there you are

I wasn't really surprized with the reaction and response I've received from my Sour Grapes post. This is something many South Africans feel strongly about. We all have our opinions on whether we should stay or whether we should go. So deleting themselves from my subscribtion email list or my Facebook friends list doesn't really faze me much. What it does show me is that I have hit the nail on its head. The "friends" who have decided to end their "friendship" were exactly the ones that fall into the first paragraph of people that I mentioned in my post. I've never ever had a problem with the people leaving our country, people move all over the world looking for more secure and safe living conditions. I might have to do the same at some point in my life, which I truly hope never happens. What I do have a problem with is the ones that have made that decision to move but cannot stop bitching about the country and pointing out the bad things. The doomsayers, the pessimists. Instead of carrying on with their lives, they keep reading and watching the news and keep commenting on it. What for? What are they achieving? Are they trying to convince us back home to remove the "flaps from our eyes" and leave as well, or are they doing it thinking that they could chance the country for the better? Or do they just do that to convince themselves that they have made the right decision to move?

A friend of mine who recently were thinking of moving to the USA said to me that he does not know whether going or staying is the right thing to do. All I could say to him was that I believe both are the right things, it just depends on your ability to adapt to your new circumstances. He was quite surprized with my insight, because if you think of it, in the end it is all about adapting. But I am sure if you can face the challenges over there and adapt to the "not so perfect" conditions there, then you are the perfect candidate to face the challenges on this side us well and adapt to the "not so perfect" conditions here as well. Things have changed in South Africa and we can either adapt to the changes or leave. It is not reallt that bad here. This brings me to the saying that changed my life considerably a few years ago.

A lot of people are running away from things that they are not totally satisfied with, a marriage, a career, a past....a country. The problem most of the times is not the imperfect conditions, but it is their own frame of mind, their attitudes. No matter where they run, they take themselves with them, and that is the problem. These are the people who think that they are changing their circumstances, but it usually does not take long before they sit with the same problems, or they find a problem in something else. Wherever they go, there they are. It is these people that I don't need in my life, the ones that drag you down when you are trying to make the most of a bad situation. The ones badmouthing a country from the sideline when you are trying to play the game and to change things for the better, the ones who should be focusing on creating their new life without going back to the past the whole time. They are the people that can never be inherently happy people, because no matter the circumstances they will always find a fault somewhere. If they delete themselves from my Facebook friends list or my email subscription then I am happy, then I don't have to be the fart doing that and then I am rid of another negative person in my life.

For my friends on the other side of the field, the ones that made a move and is making a success wherever they are without badmouthing the country that gave them the ability to adapt even in the unknown, for them I have respect. Adapting in a new country cannot be easy, but if you can do it without justifying your move by slamming South Africa every time you hear something bad on the news, then you have truly made the right decision. Those are the people we need back in South Africa. Those are the ones that is really a lost to the country.

The problem here is not the people, it is not the crime, it is not the government. It is the attitude. Yes, I feel the crime, I feel the uncertainty of our future, I am worried about my child's education, but I stay positive. I make the most of what I have, because being able to finish my life here one day (whether due to natural causes or in a hijacking), in the country I love, with my family and friends close to me, this is what I want. I don't have flaps over my eyes, for sure not, but I have the will to succeed, the courage to try and the ability to adapt. All this without the constant bitching. And despite the picture that the media and doomsayers are painting, it really isn't that bad over here. As a mater of fact, this country still provide enough opportunities for people of all colours. Unlike in the past, it is not going to come your way because you are white, now you have to fight for it, that's all. And the reward is so much sweeter in the end.

A lady once moved from one town to another because the people in the town she came from wasn't friendly enough for her. After moving into her new neighborhood she asked the grocer if the people in her new town are friendly or not? The grocer asked her: "What were the people like in your previous town?" "Oh no" she said, "they were not friendly at all." To that the grocer replied: "Well, then the people in this town are also not friendly".

Wherever you go, there you are!