Afrikaans not "African" enough

My ink was barely dry from my previous post where I mentioned how anti-Afrikaans the ANC is, when the Minister of Higher Education and Training, Blade Nzimande, decided it is time again to piss off each and every Afrikaner that still takes the ANC seriously from time to time. If the ANC does not change the old Afrikaans town names, street names or airport names, then they want to get rid of the Springbok emblem of the national rugby team or ban Bok van Blerck's De La Rey-song from being played in public places.  They do this from time to time when things get quiet or when Mr Malema seems to be partying on tax money with a mouth full of sushi and cannot use it to promote racially inspired freedom songs. Mr Nzimande decided that for students to graduate at tertiary level they need to be able to speak an "african" language. Despite the fact that Afrikaans originated right here on the shores of South Africa, this would obviously NOT be one of the tens of "african languages" we have in this country, accoring to Mr Nzimande. South Africa has 11 official languages, of which Afrikaans and English is understood by most of the inhibitants of this beautiful country and the rest is only spoken by relevant ethnic groups.

Now why would Mr Nzimande want this? Pissing off Afrikaners is obvioulsy the main reason, but also to force Afrikaans and English speakers (mainly the whites) to learn a traditional black African language. In his own words: "We can't be expected to learn English and Afrikaans, yet they don't learn our languages". Maybe it is just an effort to reduce the number of white students further, who knows? But why? No-one knows, because Afrikaans is understood by most people, and English is understood by all, and both Afrikaans and English speaking people seems to get along well enough in the world in order not to need one of the other 9 local languages. A Tswana colleague once told me to learn the local African language then I can "understand what they say about me behind my back". Like this one lady that was overhearing how some Zulu speakers were talking about her "big buttocks". Their eyes looked like saucers when the replied in their own language. She grew up on a farm where she learned Zulu from the farm workers and could speak it well, despite being white. So what if people talk about me behind my back in Xhosa, Zulu or Twana? Anyone can do the same in French, Spanish or Mandarin. For heaven's sake, there is already more confusion in this country than what there was at the Tower of Babylon, and which one of the nine does one choose? 

No Mr Nzimande, I get it, you just want to piss off the Afrikaners again, it was quiet for too long. I bet the next move would be to ban us from using the word "BRAAI", seeing that "braai" is as Afrikaans as "koeksisters en Hertzoggies" is. Seeing that Afrikaans is so "insignificant" and that you probably won't admit to it that you understand it, I might as well say this to you in Afrikaans then: "Jy kan jouself gaan n**!, maar braai sal ek braai tot die aarde ophou draai!" Which reminds me, it's time for my Friday let's braai post....