Lifelong scars

My mom, who keeps everything from a plastic toy to an empty toilet roll all for "sentimental reasons", told me the other day that she has a shoe box full of my love letters from primary school hidden away somewhere with all her other ancient trousseau. I actually still remember writing some of them, the huge round letter types I used, the paper that we all collected with silhouettes of lovers in the moonlight, sometimes smudging the words when we sprayed the final attempt with deodarant, all that stuff. I think that was the first proper "documents" I wrote when I started learning to write. I was never good at essays though, but love letters seemed to come naturally. I am a bit disappointed in my mom for reading my love letters, to me invasion of one's privacy is a serious offence, but that is a topic I'll take up with her one day in person still. What I would like to do though is to go and read all of these letters again. See, I always believed if you move on from one girl to the next, you have to cut all ties with the previous one. That is because the chances of hurting the previous one or getting hurt yourself is just too big. So I want to go find out when I first came to that conclusion in my life...or if I ever did. These historical letters might help me. Apparently the same goes for buying a vehicle and letting go of the previous one. I learned the hard way...

Since I got my new bike I was "selling" the other one. But because I was not really keen on selling it, I kept it and still uses it. I should've let go of her immediately, because I could sense her feeling of betrayal every time I pushed her out of the garage to go to work. I was hoping that she would stay in my life forever, or that I could do what our Mr President Jacob Zuma is doing....marry them all. I could sense the hurt in her when I started her, she was not as eager as she used to be, and when I compare her with my new "lover", besides for her looks she does not really come close. And then yesterday she did it. I took her to work and after returning from Paddocks I parked her in front of the office building. I've always parked her there when the spot was empty, so this was nothing new. What she didn't realize was that I was actually looking for shade so that she does not get sunburnt, a sign that I still love her. I was three steps away from her when I heard a crashing sound. I was shocked when I looked around. She threw herself over in an attempt to end her life. I never knew that she would turn suicidal after what I've done to her. Wasn't the fact that I wanted to keep her along with the new "lover" enough for her to understand that I still love her? If our President can do that, why can't I?

Anyway, she is now not only emotionally bruised, but physically as well. I am so glad that the scar on her tank is not too big, but it has to be repaired. No-one would buy that bike now, not with that ugly mark on her side. It could've been worse I guess, but the fact that she got hurt even more really makes me feel like the bigest loser around. I was not careless, I promise, she just started to move forward and then the side stand gave in. What a ugly sound. What an ugly sight to see your bike lying on her side like that. Scarred for life maybe, because after purchusing the other bike I definitely don't have money to repair this one. I am really sorry for what I did, it cannot be reversed, not even the huge tub of Trifle pudding made me feel better. I hope one day that we can heal that wound, because she might not be as fast and furious as my new lover, but she is ten times prettier.