Uneasy Rider

A couple of days ago I turned forty-two. I remember my 30th birthday as if it happened only yesterday...the worst day of my life it seemed. I remember that I didn't want to get up that morning, my life seemed to be over. From thirty it was only downhill I believed. Two years ago I turned forty and I was sure it was the "best years of my life". I felt content with my life, I thought I have achieved everything I ever wanted to and that from now on it will be a breeze to carry on. Nothing to prove anymore, just live the life. Well, two years later and I am in a state of depression. Not only did my wife give me a book to read about a guy in his mid-life crisis who turned...yes...42, but three people mentioned in the past week to me that they see the signs. Now if a man my age wants to receive an insult, then this is it. It's worse than going bald, because some women do actually find bold men attractive. But show me one woman who likes a man who is experiencing a mid-life crisis. Not that any man should evaluate his health and physical condition on how many women still finds him attractive or not, but see...this is it...only a man in his mid-life crisis will use women and their likings as a yardstick. You see, although you think that you are definitely NOT in your mid-life crisis, you do, think and say things differently from men who still has to get there, or ones who have past that stage. Younger men might still think about their still growing financial status or their still growing amount of hair on their chest to convince themselves they have a few years to play with, while men past their mid-life crisis will think about how many of their original teeth they still have left and they couldn't care less if they die now or tomorrow as long as they can still eat the cookies they receive from their grandchildren. But a man in his mid-life crisis stage will think about his physical appearance. But there is something else that worries me. A couple of months ago this travel bug bit me big time. I decided to take my bike and hit the road. The point is I always wanted to do it. I've done many things in my life and this was still on my 'to-do-list'. I just never had the opportunity to do so, so little time, so many adventures. Well, I eventually made the time (and money) available and I enjoyed it so much that I was actually looking for a more appropriate bike to travel with. When I read the book by Mike Carter, "Uneasy Rider - Travels through a mid-life crisis" , he mentioned that when any man gets this urge to hit the road then it is a clear sign that he is in the middle of this crisis. So what make my longing since my twenties to hit the road different from his urge to do so at 42? Well, at least it was something that I wanted to do for many years, from when I was still a youngster. It is only now that I get the chance and have the finances to do so meaning it cannot be a mid-life crisis decision. Wrong! According to my wife the thought that I might not have many years left to do all these things drove me to the decision to get on my bike and ride. You see, she believes the driving force behind this is knowing that my time is running out, not something that I only got time to do now. Now that is enough to crash into the next lamppost....even my wife thinks I am there...no wonder she thought I might like to read this book....at the ripe age of 42!

Mike Carter mentions in the first couple of chapters about the signs, and it's scary. I am not going to go into that detail, I don't want people to know what i'm going through, but I am sure I can relate to many of his examples. As I am reading the book I get totally annoyed that, despite his newly found freedom along the road and through 20 countries, he still cannot find a lovely woman to shag. The ones that he does find are in the same little mid-life crisis boat and although he describes them as atrractive, you can see that he finds anything that wears make-up and does not need to shave its facial hairs attractive. You see, again I am evaluating his "youth and appearance" by the amount of women he can find. I have not finished reading the book yet, but I sure hope that he learned something from his 6-month trip around Europe. I hope that when I put the book down that I will know exactly what to do to skip this stage completely, or if I have to do something like traveling for 6 months around Africa on my scooter or climb Kilimanjaro with bare feet, that I will get on doing it and past this stage rather sooner than later. To me my life has not changed, I have not changed. Yes, I am much more content, but some say that is also a sign of getting old. And the fact that I am looking forward to my trip to Uganda next week? Is it a "mid-life crisis excitement" or an "adventure excitement"? I wish not to voice my opinion on that now....