Business class

I’ve never underestimated the advantages of flying business class on an 11-hour international flight. Avoiding the 3 visits to a physiotherapist afterwards does have it benefits. Unfortunately this is a luxury the company I work for doesn’t think I deserve…and neither does my bank balance. They do however pay for my medical expenses which I cannot complain about. However, I could never understand why anyone would fly business class on a 2-hour domestic flight. Today I was bumped up to business class on my way from Johannesburg to Cape Town. This was something I didn’t deserve considering my opinion about anyone using this service for a flight that is shorter than a charismatic church service. When I sat down the first thing I noticed was that I wasn’t dressed for the occasion. My flip flops and stainless steel wedding band didn’t compare well with the genuine leather shoes and diamond rings some of my fellow passengers were wearing. But I have never judged anyone by the clothes they were wearing and didn’t want to do so today either. So I decided rather to make a note of the differences between business class and “cattle class” as economy class is sometimes referred to.

For a start the friendliness of the cabin crew seemed to be the same, but the newspaper was free. Yet there was not enough space for two people to read comfortably, but they all did look quite important while analyzing the financial section. I would prefer reading matter of a smaller size like the Reader's Digest. The difference in seat width and leg room is nothing to elaborate on. I still had to hold my fork and knife like a metro sexual male who is very much in touch with his feminine side. I did feel a bit more important sitting two seats behind Ms Edna Molewa, the Minister of Social Development and her entourage, but I had to look down feeling rather ashamed when the cattle class passengers passed me on their way to the back. I felt more like a traitor than a VIP.

The only thing in the food department that I can say was better was the way the food was served. The eating utensils moved up one spot on the evolution ladder…paper became plastic and glass, plastic became glass and metal. The salt and pepper pot was rather cute, but that was not making the experience more attractive. The scrambled eggs tasted the same than what I was used to back there and the coffee came from the same pot. However, they did come and take my empty tray much earlier than what they do in economy class and that was really a bonus. Even in business class I felt a bit claustrophobic.

I had to sacrifice my window seat at the back for an aisle seat, and this meant that I couldn’t get my much needed nap while resting my head against the window. A seat that could tilt back to 19 degrees compared to 13 degrees didn’t help much either. While standing in queue to get to the toilet, which by the way was the same size as in economy class, I noticed that around 30% of the passengers in economy class were smiling while 0% in business class showed any signs of enjoyment. Let’s assume it is because they are probably on business while many people in economy class might be on holiday.

I guess all I can say after flying business class is that I still have the same opinion I had before. The only good thing was the rather attractive girl that was sitting next to me. Unfortunately it turned out that she was the girlfriend of a famous TV personality and I turned out to be married. But I noticed that there were just as many of them sitting at the back. So to my friends back there just this…you didn’t miss out on much and we all arrived in Cape Town at the same time. So see you on the next flight and enjoy your stay in Cape Town.